Can I be addicted to Struggle!?!?
“why am I experiencing the lack of money?” I asked.
“What you have are peptides that you are addicted to. You don’t have cultural blocks, you don’t have all these things that you are coming up with. If one would face the reality that they are addicted to the peptides of ‘not having enough money, not having love in their life, not having this, not having that, being angry, being sad, having reasons to be depressed, having reasons to overeat, having reasons to cry. That’s what we are addicted to. If one would take responsibility for the fact they are addicted to financial insecurity and rewire the brain then these things will change.”
I felt I’d just done a round in a boxing ring with Muhammad Ali. My ego was bruised. I felt like a bad person. These were all emotions of Guilt, Shame, Humiliation, Regret and Despair and they were wrapped up in a neat little package I chose to call ‘Struggle’.
What had I done in my life to bring this to me now. I went to bed rather confused and yet at the same time clearer. I couldn’t go to sleep even though it was approaching midnight. I sat there and journaled my thoughts so I could be the observer of what I was creating. What emotions were rising and showing themselves. How was I choosing to view the answers I got from my question?
There was certainly a pattern of struggle from the very early stage in life. The little girl I was believed the adults around her, about being a girl and how she should behave. She had programmed herself to repeat the patterns over and over even though she was now grown up.
The rest of the week followed with re-watching the movie ‘What the bleep do we know.” I had watched it earlier in the year and found that this time it made even more sense. This time I could recognise the peptides I was creating for me. http://www.whatthebleep.com/
As a little girl at school, my teacher asked me, “what we wanted to be when we were big?” I wanted anything to do with Art and or Sports. I loved both of these experiences. I grew up to become an artist, a designer, and then Director of Arts at a local academy. Although my parents didn’t let me enrol for the young Olympics as my school requested, I grew up to complete incredible challenges at do things for charitable causes. Life is good and I love it. Would I change it? No I wouldn’t. There have certainly been challenges and right now I am facing one around finances, but my gut tells me I am breaking through limiting barriers and now that I am more aware of these friends of mine called ‘peptides’ I’ll let them know they only serve me when they are coming from the higher frequencies of Courage, Trust, Optimism, Forgiveness, Understanding, Love, Joy, Bliss ….
It has certainly been interesting to learn as a fellow Network Marketer just how many people who are earning 15K a month or more are broke. It’s estimated less than 1 in 50 are not broke when they start earning double figure cheques. Why does this happen?
Just like many other people, we think once we are making double figure incomes a month, things will get better. However, we find it doesn’t. It doesn’t because some people are addicted to the adrenaline of having to make that money, just meeting the bills on time and then being a hero every month. People don’t look to changing their relationship with money even though the income has changed. Just as my income went up, so did my spending habits. I told myself, I was investing in me and spent thousands and thousands on personal development for me and my children. Coaches were happy to take several thousands and what some of them gave in return was just a chat. It lacked substance and I paid for it. I chose to trust and believe them. Yet I know with the increase around personal development, thousands and thousands of other people are in the same boat. Why is that? Maybe because we are still conditioned to want to see tangible evidence, that things have changed and that is measured in financial success. Yet personal development is an every single day action and its Action with knowledge applied that’s going to make the difference.
I believe I am in training to create the emotional foundation needed in order to grow the empire that will serve millions of people to awaken to their dreams and live life on purpose. It certainly has been a profound week this week and it continues to be so with the Master Key Experience.